Sunday, July 7, 2013

A mothers worst nightmare.

We spent a wonderful weekend at 2 different lakes with a couple of Jake's friends and their wife and kid(s). Our rule is anywhere near the water and the kids have life jackets on even if we are right there by them. No matter how deep or shallow they always have jackets on.

Well on Saturday Emery had a little incident. He was playing with a tube that you pull behind a boat, I'm not sure quite what happened as I was looking at another kiddo. I hear Jake's friend's wife yell to her husband "Dylan grab Emery!" She had been standing on the dock watching everyone and saw him go down.

It was a split second that it seemed to happen. It amazes me how quick a brain processes things. I glanced over to see Emery flopping in the water. It was maybe a foot of water. He has a little lifejacket with the "pillow" on the back.

He somehow fell backwards and got scared, as he tried to turn over to get up he got flipped to his back again and went under. He tried to get back up and just kept flopping and spinning in the water. He was surfacing and gasping for air.

I was farther away than Dylan even with him in the water. Maybe because he didn't know right where Emery was as he had been watching his son or it didn't process quick enough WHY he was to grab Emery. I knew precisely where Emery was because I had JUST been watching him. Jake was up the hill sitting with Abby so he couldn't get to him.

As soon as I heard Sarah tell her husband to get him and I saw what was going on I somehow flew to my feet and ran the 10-15 feet to him. In my dreams it always seems as if I'm running through water, that feeling of moving so slow because water is holding you back. It didn't hold me back then, I'm still surprised how quick I made it through the water to him even with flip flops on. I remember thinking in my head where to grab him best but I don't even recall where I grabbed ahold once I got to him. I just know I grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him up into my arms. It seemed as if he flipped and flopped about 6 times before me as I was running to him. Time went by so slow to watch it and yet so fast as I was running and yanking him out and up to me. I will never forget the look of terror in his beautiful wide blue eyes. He was sputtering and crying as I told him it was ok, mama had him and wiping his face off.

Scared the beejeezus our of me. It took all of maybe 30 seconds to happen. I tried to explain that if he falls in the water to lay on his back and the pillow and jacket will keep him floating. It was a little bit of a reality check for me.

I already am the person who comes up with scenarios and works through what I would do. Sometimes I just have to shake my head and tell myself to knock it off. Jake gets so annoyed with me and is always saying that will never happen. It's not always so left field though and some things very well could happen but apparently he thinks he is invincible. It dawned on me a couple weeks ago that it must be from Grey's Anatomy. Things that are 1 in millions happen on that show. I was that way growing up even and would have anxiety but between Grey's Anatomy and becoming a parent it has gotten much worse.

I've decided that we're going to sit down and practice. Even at 10 and 5 the boys could use a lesson along with Emery. We're going to discuss water and fire safety and what else I can think of that is good for refreshing and teaching the ones who don't know yet.

I think everyone was on their toes the rest of the day. Things can happen so quickly and I learned that day that kids can still drown in a life jacket if they don't know how to properly let it help them.

Thankfully it didn't phase him. I was afraid he would be scared of the water and not want to go back in. After just a minute or two on shore he was back in the water playing. Must be a little fish like his mama used to be.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Full Steam Ahead.

Whew life is busy with 2 kids and then 4 kids part of the week.

Between kids, work, errands, activities it has been so busy and I feel like I don't have enough hours in a day. I am almost positive that most parents feel that way.

We have such a busy summer planned. We don't have gold passes to Silverwood this year as it wasn't going to be fun with a brand new baby. Just not a good idea to have her out in that heat and the fact that one parent would always have to be switching with the other to go on rides. She would get too cold at Boulder Beach and the parent having to sit out would be scorching! They don't have umbrellas, she wouldn't want to be in the stroller the whole time and being under 6 months she can't have sunscreen so that would definitely not work to have her out in full sun all day. It would be crazy trying to wrangle Emery around while pushing Abby around while the other parent and the bigger kids are on a ride. Not my cup of tea. Just typing that raised my heartrate and made me break a sweat, ha ha ha.

The boys will be at their other home from 8am-8pm on the 4th of July. Daddy works overtime so I will be picking them up and then we may go to daddy's work to watch a few with him and his coworkers. Nothing super exciting.

The next day Jake's friend, wife and kids will be up camping so we are going to go up there for the day and relax.

July 21-24th we are going to MT to see my mom and sister. I hope my dad can make it to meet his grandkids for the first time. I mean Emery is 2 and all, it's getting a little ridiculous. I understand he may actually be working this time and probably won't...just wish he would make more of an effort sometime.

We have the boys for almost about 12 days that middle of July week and it will be so fun and so hectic!

September 14-17 we are going to the Ocean and camping. We will be without Nathan and Ethan but it will be nice to have a more relaxed camping trip and not cost a fortune. Mommy and daddy deserve a few days to relax in nature without all 4 crazies.

I'm sure the thought of camping with an infant is incredulous. However we are going to rock this. Since about 6 weeks she has been a great sleeper. Lately she hasn't even been waking up in the middle of the night to eat so we're talking a good 10-12 hours of sleep for the girl. Man, our babies rock!!! I will have her layered up in clothes and then stick her in a fleece sleep sack. If the pack and play bassinet doesn't work for her then she will just end up on the air mattress with Jake and I. She's a great sleeper when she sleeps with us so I am not worried at all. Emery was a piece of cake last year and he was just barely a year old so I think it will be fun.

I will be trying to find a carrier other than the Moby so we can easily pack and up and go somewhere without me dragging the Moby on the ground as I try to get all wrapped up. We may have to take it for daddy though.

We went to REI to try on the Ergo Performance baby carrier and it worked ok. However my 2nd reason for wanting it was that Emery could be carried as well, especially on daddy's back. This was not gonna work for us. The chest strap slid up and was strangling Jake on the Adam's apple. We had it all adjusted properly and still didn't work for him. So I am not sure what we will do there. Hopefully we can figure it out before September.

I am just so excited for our plans this summer. I can't wait to create more memories with the kids and be out in nature. I hope to instill my love of camping...the real deal with tents...into our kids. The 2 oldest are getting to the age where I can start teaching. They should know some survival things, how to start a fire etc. It will be exciting to get to teach them about nature.

Hopefully I will have as much of a blast as I am envisioning and that I will have time to write about it!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

A Dinner Hit

Ya know how in most homes you have a husband who will eat anything and kids who are picky and live off pb&j, chicken nuggets and mac and cheese?

Well our house is the opposite. I have 3 mini hoovers and the grown man who is the picky one. Nothing is ever flavorful enough for him. When I'm not looking and even when I am he dumps on the garlic salt, the pepper, the creole seasoning. Ree-dicu-lous! I try my hardest to not get hurt feelings that he doesn't listen to Kenny Chesney enough to ask for more. Cue the song: ""Eatin' burnt suppers the whole first year, An' askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up.
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff.""

Anyway moving on.

I've pinned tons of dinners and it seems like they're hit and miss at times. We have had quite a few hits. I really need to blog them so I don't forget.

Tonight I made

The boys asked to have them again tomorrow and that was shot down so they asked for them next Wednesday when I pick them up.

These were pretty simple. I made a few tweaks...
You can substitute some of the mayo or miracle whip for Greek yogurt. Maybe all of it but I liked the flavor from the MW despite it not being healthy whatsoever.
I used Kings Sweet Hawaiian rolls as I couldn't find any other dinner rolls at the store.
I used sliced ham (think thicker chunks, like breakfast slabs?) and just cut it thinner as we don't eat a lot of ham and I wasn't buying a ton.
Mozzarella instead of Swiss since we had it on hand.
Chia seeds rather than poppy seeds as they are super healthy for you. I got ours from Trader Joes.

The sauce was so good. I wish the rolls had gotten a little more crisp on top as I prefer that but either way they were yummmy! 

Jake wasn't home to try these but I'll have to update when he gets a chance to try them. I also made only 9 so I could use our 9x9 pan and only 1/4 cup of the mayo/MW/Greek yogurt and even then that was quite a bit left over.

Play around with it. Let me know if you try it, what you do differently if anything and how everyone likes it.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pregnancy +/- Productivity

I can't explain how nice it is to no longer be pregnant. With Emery I had a little nesting and could clean, I was able to do stuff around the house or go shopping and go to bed around 9 or 10 each night.

I guess chasing around a little rascal who isn't wasn't quite two had me exhausted this go round. I would put Emery to bed at 7pm and off to bed I went and would sleep a full 12 hours. The next day I was just so tired but could never nap and by the time daddy went to work I was ready for bed. I would literally count down until 6:30 to start putting Emery to bed so I could take a bath and go to bed.

The guilt was rough, I knew that another day had passed and I was too tired and anxious for bed that I was missing out on those precious nights alone with just him. Yes he needed sleep and if he didn't go to bed on time he was a hellion the next day, but those would be the final nights of my first baby snuggles. Now she is here and he's suddenly this big boy.

I always felt horrible because Jake did most of the cleaning then. My belly would hurt so bad bending over that I had a hard time unloading the dishwasher. Loading it would make sick because I hate slimy dishes and it was so much worse being pregnant. Making any meal was a chore and Jake did a lot of that too. It seems any activity just made my belly ache, the muscles literally felt like they were ripping apart and it hurt to move. Add in a stiff sore back and a pelvis that desperately needed a chiropractic adjustment and I wanted to do nothing but just sit and relax. I felt like the laziest thing in the world and I hated every minute of it.

Now that Abby is here things are much easier. I have been cleaning, baking, cooking. I feel productive and it's wonderful. I love being able to throw some bread in the oven, bake some treats, load the dishwasher, get a couple loads of laundry washed and dried, the kitchen cleaned up, the bathroom cleaned up, the kids bathed. I sit down and feel like superwoman for having been productive. Seems though that even those days are few and far between. I have this little miss who is nothing like her brother. She loves mama time and just wants to be held and nurse. I try to put her down but after a few minutes she is crying. I'm not hardcore into AP but I do know that letting her cry isn't going to help. She doesn't seem to be the kind who will fuss it out and even then she is still too young.

So this mama sucks it up. I know the dishes can wait till the next morning, the bread isn't necessary because Emery and I are the only ones who will eat it and treats, yup they head straight to my rear end and with 5lbs to go to pre-pregnancy weight I certainly don't need to be baking. I have a Moby and I wear her but sometimes it just doesn't work to wear her. I'm trying to eliminate chemical loaded cleaning products but until I can buy a big stash of Essential Oils I have the yucky stuff. I can't wear her while I clean the bathroom with that crap floating in the air, I can't wear her while cooking something hot and certainly not bending over to load the dishwasher so I'm not smacking her head on the drawers. I just miss feeling productive. I have to set that all aside, sit and have a pep talk that I AM BEING PRODUCTIVE.

I am nourishing my baby. I am her one and only source of nourishment and I am making her grow big and healthy. All those snuggles are building up that bond that she can trust her mama and know that I will always be there to meet her needs. These days will be gone by so quickly, 6 weeks has flown by already. So I will savor that soft fuzzy head, her smacking her lips for the good stuff, laying her hand on my chest as she suckles away and the way her little toes curl when I stroke her skin as she nurses. I won't get these days back and I have the entire future to clean and cook.

I love looking back to the beginning and to where I am now. I am so much happier to have her out of that big ol' belly and be able to smooch on her.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

Wearing the shirt that Pamma had made for daddy back when he was little. So crazy to see my little guy wearing a shirt that has been around for 28+ years. It was interesting to see how much difference there were in sizing. That was a 2T and Emery wasn't even 2 and it was pretty much too small. Oh how the times change! 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

An effort to change our lives and health {Part 1}

I like to say I'm a little bit of a hippy at heart. I think maybe it started with my childhood obsession of Laura Ingalls Wilder. I wanted to be her, I wanted to live her life where they lived with simplicity. They farmed, they cooked, they crafted and they mothered. I would pretend I was her and play house...and then puberty hit and I was out of that phase.

Now as a mama it is back in full force. My mom is into chiropractic care and after knowing personally the benefits I am all for it. I honestly tell people about it allll the time. That and probiotics. I'm preaching that alllll day long.

I just laugh at the stuff my mom gets into. Cleanses, making her own kefir water and the list goes on. I get this kind of crazy from my mother. Thanks mama!

My most recent interest is essential oils. I knew of a few benefits before this class. I mean I went to Cosmetology school and one of the first things you learn is that Tea Tree Oil can deter lice, it can help cure up a nail fungus or psoriasis of the scalp etc.

I myself put tea tree oil in coconut oil, mix a little with baking soda and use that as a face scrub. Gently exfoliates, moisturizes with the coconut oil and the tea tree oil fought off those awful breakouts I would get when I was pregnant. Now I use it to keep the black heads at bay. I even used it on Emery who was getting a weird little rash started and everyone said "NOOO IT LOOKS LIKE RINGWORM." That word alone disgusted me and I was running for my little container of Tea Tree and Coconut oil on day 2 of it being there. GONE the next morning.

I just recently went to a class that a friends mom hosted. HOOKED! Did you know that TTO on a cotton ball in your ear a few times a day can cure an ear infection? Nope I sure didn't and I wish I knew a year and a half ago. Back when Emery literally had an ear infection once a month. It took us 5 months of stupid antibiotics which I hate but nothing was helping until...chiropractic. 3 adjustments and he's never had another one since and we avoided tubes.

Peppermint oil on your hands and held cupped over eyes infected with pink eye can clear up the pink eye.

Lavender can be used on cuts, scrapes, burns etc.

Eucalyptus can be used on the feet to stop coughing in a kiddo.

Essential oils are the ONLY thing that can kill a virus. Viral illness, well the doctors tell ya "sorry, gotta wait it out." Uh nope, just invest in some high grade essential oils and there is one for everything out there! Kill that nasty little virus with a few drops of EO.

I've been putting Lavender oil on Abby's feet and temples at night time. The girl falls asleep so much quicker and sleeps more soundly.

My allergies? OUT. OF. CONTROL. I have been taking my allergy medicine for 3 weeks now. My nose is so dry inside that it hurts to breathe. I thought it was from the air and allergies. It's really from the allergy medicine drying out the mucous membranes. Ya know, to prevent that allergy nasal drip. YICK. My nose seriously hurts to rub and it itches SO BAD. My eyes, itch like crazy. I wake myself up "clucking" as I call it. Ya know that trick where you try to itch the back of your throat with your tongue? Please tell me I'm not the only one? I know I'm not because I catch Jake doing it all the time and have to tell him he's clucking and to go take some medicine.

Well the wonderful lady who taught the class saw my complaint on facebook and brought me some samples. She brought me lavender, lemon and peppermint and gave me the dosing instructions. I'm not messing with these allergies so I decided to skip rubbing the oils on my feet and take them internally to get it going faster. {note: do not ingest essential oils unless you have a high grade one that is safe. ie: doTERRA}. I am going to see how well this works. I guarantee it will and I'm excited about it. The less chemicals I'm putting into my body the better.

In fact, the peppermint tasted so good and felt amazing on my lips to the point I was immediately about to mix some up in some coconut oil and make a lip balm. I decided to forgo that as I need the oils for my allergies, much more important than amazingly cool and tingly lips.

So this is the start of my journey on EO. I will hopefully be using them for more things...such as making my own tooth paste, my own soap (since I knew triclosan was horrible but the fact that the FDA is now worried...that right there shows how bad it is when the money hungry FDA shows concern), making our own cleaning supplies and ridding our home of the chemicals, etc. I have a couple classes that I will go to such as how to empty out your medicine cabinet and use EO instead of pills. How to make your own homemade cleaners and all that safe stuff.

So here is to Part 1. Follow along if you like.

My question: has anyone used EO and had good results? I love hearing stories of the things I'm into :)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Breastfeeding: Before and Now

When I had Emery I knew for sure I was going to breastfeed and my goal was a year. However when the boys were home I felt like I had to cover up. Like it was going to make them uncomfortable. I took a cover everywhere and fought that damn thing. Emery hated being covered, he would yank on the blanket or under the cover he would get hot and sweaty and not eat as well.

Along with worrying about not offending others and being modest I screwed myself, or him mostly by eventually supplementing. I was diligent about feeding him the first few weeks/months but I doubted how much he was getting. The nurses in the hospital were so helpful in helping me with positions and latching but no one ever educated me on how much little they need the first couple days and weeks.

I didn't realize how tiny a babies stomach is. It's the size of a marble! I felt like he wasn't getting enough so we gave him a premixed bottle of similac. Like the 4oz you see where this is going? He guzzled it. Don't they put slow nipples on those things?! Cue the projectile vomiting. It scared me. I didn't realize what was going on. I was a first time mama frantically flipping him over to pat his back, suction out his poor drowned nose and strip him down... and yet I didn't realize what the issue was. Talk about uneducated. I thought that growing up around all my little cousins, babysitting, nannying and families daycares etc that I was experienced with babies.

Looking back I was experienced with them just not with breastfeeding so I just didn't know all the little details like that. Jake was supportive of breastfeeding but didn't realize things like supplementing were undermining me.

I didn't realize that supplementing would affect my milk supply, even with pumping. I wasn't told that pumping is not as effective as a nursing baby. You will get some milk, but not as much as a nursing baby does. So as I pumped and didn't see a lot of milk I was certain he just wasn't getting enough milk.  I regret thinking that it was just easier to take a bottle while we were out running around because it was more convenient for everyone. I hated thinking that I was inconveniencing people by sitting in the car to feed him before we could go in the store or go somewhere. Selfish. I hated that I felt like I had to cover up in my own home because of the boys or I had to go in another room. By 6 months I was basically done breastfeeding because we were just using so much formula and my supply had taken a huge hit due to that.

I tried to prepare Jake for breastfeeding again this time. I set out what my goals were. However he was concerned about nursing in front of the boys. He felt that it was inappropriate for them to see, that they would tell "mom of the year" and she would take us to court over it. I disagreed with inappropriate but I felt his concern over MOTY just because how freaking psycho she is and the fact that the judge ALWAYS sides with her no matter how much evidence is presented against her.

I told him that breasts were made for nourishing babies and that I wasn't going to act like they were anything but normal. I'm so sick of america thinking that breasts are only for sexual satisfaction. I was so frustrated and sad. It made me really emotional to think that I was going to have to cover up in MY OWN HOME, feed her only in our room or send the boys to their room every time I had to feed her. What happens when she cluster feeds? I can't just ban them to their room for the day, that isn't fair for them, Abby or myself. How would that make breastfeeding look then, and how much would they resent her.

Thankfully I presented my concerns to mommy friends in a local facebook group and got some great feed back. In Washington it is legal to breastfeed anywhere! If I can feed her in public in front of anyone and their children why can't I nurse the boys' sister in front of them.

I told Jake that I would explain to the boys about nursing and that we would not make it seem like something to cover up and avoid. That would only make them think there was something naughty goingon that had to be hidden and therefore be more interested and have that be where our problems started with MOTY. Jake said we would give it a shot and see how it goes. So that was settled.

With that out of the way I educated myself this time around. My goal with Abby is a year minimum. I told Jake absolutely NO FORMULA. It won't be in the house and we won't buy any, I am doing this no matter what. I know I can make loads of milk as Emery vomited from such a heavy let down numerous times in which and I had to change our sheets in the middle of the night because they were SOAKED.

A couple weeks before she arrived we got a can of Enfamil newborn formula in the mail. I am proud to say it hasn't been opened. She has only been fed from a bottle maybe 5 times and thatbeing due to me having to go into the Spa to do an appointment. I try to feed her as much as possible before I leave and as soon as I get home. If she couldn't hold out and Jake had to thaw a baggy of breastmilk then I just pump and freeze that to replenish that used bag. Plus she despises the bottle, it takes Jake quite awhile to get her to take it he says. I think she just likes mama's warmth and smell. Not some cold hard bottle nipple. It makes me happy to know my girl prefers mama as her food of choice :)

We are 6 weeks and going strong. This girl loves her liquid gold. I try to breastfeed her as much as possible rather than pumping. In the middle of the night I feed her from my right breast which I get the most milk from and then get up and pump from the left which is then put in the freezer to use for when I'm working.

I gave up the cover. The only time I have covered up is at Jake's parents, as I don't know how it would make his dad feel and inside chili's when we went to dinner. What a hassle. I HATE not being able to see her, my breast and get her latched on.

We went shopping at Sears and she was starting to get fussy and hungry in the Moby. I told Jake I would be over by the patio furniture and went and sat down. I lifted one side of the Moby, rotated her so she was laying down a bit and latched her on. I was able to adjust the Moby and my nursing shirt to keep myself mostly covered but not so much that it interfered with her eating. No one seemed to notice except one lady with a little boy and a baby. She smiled and said that she was glad they had places to rest, that she does it all the time. I smiled back and said I felt the same. Jake walked up and asked "is she feeding?" I had to laugh because it made her sound like a little animal and not a baby...then again she is an animal when it comes to her milk. If she doesn't get it right away she starts a little tantrum where she starts kicking her legs all impatient.

I absolutely love watching her nurse. We have that snuggle time. I can touch her, talk to her, sing to her and be all she needs in that moment. With Emery I felt I had to rush through it and get stuff done. This is for sure our last baby and I have made myself settle down. I sit and enjoy nursing her. I try to get Emery what he may need before we start so that I'm not having to make him wait and resent her that his needs aren't being met. I love that we are getting that important bonding...I know she will be a daddy's girl, she already is so I need all I can get ;)

The boys? For about a week there were no questions, nothing awkward. Ethan would come up even while I was nursing and give her a kiss on the head and run off to play. One night playing card games I

had to nurse her. Ethan says "mom, why is she sucking on your boob?" I casually explained that they are made for mama's to nurse their babies. That breasts make milk and that is how babies eat. Some mom's use bottles and powdered milk and other's use milk from their breast. That was the end of that, he shrugged said ok and went on with the game.

A week or so ago something came up about breastfeeding and I was able to tell the boys that when she gets germs on her mouth and nurses that my body can automatically create antibodies to keep her from getting sick so breastfeeding is a very good thing for her.

I am proud of my girl and myself. We have made it this far. It takes 6 weeks to establish your supply and I feel as if we have done great. Jake is supportive and we know what I did wrong. She is first. We need to go to the store ASAP? Yea well if it's almost her time to eat, she eats first and then we go. I'm not taking a bottle because it's "easier". It really isn't because then I'm engorged, screwing with my supply and having to pump.

I am happy with where we are at. MOTY hasn't pulled any crap, the boys don't think anything of it, Emery knows what she's doing and loves watching the pump work when I have to pump, I am not embarrassed to nurse my child in public and if it bother's anyone else, screw them basically. I try to keep covered as much as possible with clothing and my babe, but I won't stick some hot awkward cloth over her head. We have a stash of milk in the freezer and I'm trying to figure out how else to store it as it starts to take up a lot of room and we don't have a deep freeze (darn apartment living!). I also love how supportive WIC is. I got a pump for nursing up to 6 months with Emery and going back to work so they gave me a $300 pump. I am so thankful to have that. The LC there even told me if I ever needed more bags than what they gave me to let her know and she would get me more. I was getting low on what I had leftover from Emery and looked at the price at walmart. 20 bags for almost $20. INSANITY! I called her up to ask if the offer still stood and she said absolutely! I went in, she gave me 3 boxes of baggies, a nursing tank they got in and washable nursing pads.

I am so glad that they exist to help encourage other mama's. I hope others look for help before they supplement. Educate yourself mama's, you were made to do this. In most cases you CAN breastfeed, it's not always an easy start but if you persevere you will make it. Very few are unable to so give it a shot and make sure you have a support system!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

25 Questions

20 questions: answered by Ethan turning 5
1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Hotwheels, motorcycle Except I don't like when Parker makes a mess and takes the sink out.
3. What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple
4. What is your favorite tv show? Mordicai and Rigby
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Toast
6. What is your favorite outfit? Monster truck shirt and DC shoes
7. What is your favorite game? uno
8. What is your favorite snack? fruit snacks
9. What is your favorite animal? Giraffe
10. What is your favorite song? Alvin and the chipmunks
11. What is your favorite book? Curious george
12. Who is your best friend? Daddy
13. What is your favorite cereal? Doesn't know
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Run around in circles. Riding 4 wheelers
15. What is your favorite drink? Milk
16. What is your favorite holiday? Birthday
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Blue bunny
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Toast and cereal
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Mac and cheese
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Same as on the STA busses (2nd class mechanic)
21. Who is your favorite person to visit? Papa and grandma
22. What's your favorite candy? Ring pop
23. What's your favorite movie? Alvin and the chipmunks. I like Alvin.
24. What's your favorite car? Hummer and our red car (Audi A6 station wagon)
25. Who is the cutest person you know? The baby we have...Abby

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Cue the excuses

I have about 4 blog posts half drafted. I always think of them at night as I'm laying in bed. I want to get up and pound them out on the keyboard but then I start calculating the risks of waking up the baby and how much sleep I'll be granted if she sleeps her 4 hour stretch or wakes earlier. Therefore they sit in the draft box because I can't gather the thoughts during the day or I don't want to try to write them and be nagged on that I'm wasting our quality time together before Jake goes to work.

Mind you today is our 3 year anniversary. He went to a friend's house to work on his car....and bullshit and drink beer and stayed out till nearly 1am. that leads to being tired and falling asleep on the couch.

I was so irritated to not have anything special to door him even remember it and do something thoughtful that I went and laid in bed and took a cat nap while he napped on the couch with the baby. What a lame day.

I think since he gets his guy time guilt free ill start taking my laptop to Starbucks, getting a coffee and reading my blogs and writing a few posts guilt free and without child or daddy interruptions.

We will see how that goes and until I start that those posts will probably continue to sit in the draft folder.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Dear Emery

Today you are 2 years old. I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown by!

I play the day you were born over and over in my head all the time. You made me a mama. I look at you in awe everyday that you are half me and half your daddy. You are the most perfect little boy and so very handsome.

If you had asked me 2 years ago what an excavator was I wouldn't have been able to identify one from a group of machinery. I never would have imagined that I would soon be so excited to see excavators, bull dozers, jeeps, hummers, slug bugs and gangos (durangos).

You are incredibly smart. You've been so advanced for your age that I always just look at you like you are the smartest little boy. For just turning 2 it amazes me all the things you can say. You communicate so well with us and everyone. You are always complimented by strangers on how clearly you speak. You are getting really good at your colors, identifying so many things I never dreamed a 2 year old could.

You have only been a big brother for a little over 3 weeks but you are so loving and gentle. You make me so proud to see what a kind and gentle little boy we have raised.

We have hit the stage of tantrums and boy are they a doozy! You understand what we're saying and communicate but you get so set in your way and what you want that you refuse to listen to us and to chill out. It gets so frustrating but I know that this will pass.

I love watching you play with your brothers, especially Ethan. You love to RACE! and you say "3, 2, 1, GOOO!" and you run the yellow hummer down the hallway. You love to be a big boy and do the stuff that your brothers do including playing games. You constantly want to play War, Slap Jack and whatever game is out that everyone else is playing. You are definitely our child and love games.

You love to snuggle with your daddy and I love to just secretly watch you two together. It's crazy how you alone made me fall so much more in love with your daddy. You and myself are so lucky to have him in our life and I hope that as you get older and possibly rebellious that you realize how amazing your daddy is and you will look up to him and grow up to be a good, hardworking man like he is.

You are such a good sleeper, you go down to bed and roll over onto your side and call out "love you too" to me as I close the door. I love our little goodnights. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night missing you and just want to go drag you into bed with me for the all too rare snuggles.

I tell you I love you constantly. You make me want to rip my hair out some days but then when I see your big blue eyes and cheesey smiles I just melt a little and realize someday I will want those crazy insane hair pulling days back. I love when I tell you that I love you and you then tell everyone else that you love them. If Ethan doesn't answer you get louder and louder until he hears you and says he loves you back. It's silly little things like this that I never want to forget. Along with markles that are marbles and tater pops that are tater tots and that you laugh all obnoxious and cheesey when you realize that we think you are funny. You are so proud of yourself being a little ham and you laugh at yourself.

I hope that you continue to not take things so seriously, that when things may get hard that you still laugh at yourself once in awhile. Yet all the while I hope you stay the observant and cautious boy that you are. I am sure you meld those together perfectly and make me even more proud as your mama.

I'm not sure what else to say, I'll think of the perfect things to add to this once it's published I'm sure. I just want you to know how incredibly much I/we love you. We are so blessed to have you in our life, for all the laughs and smiles, hugs and kisses you give us everyday. Thank you for being the perfect little addition to our family, for making me a mama and being such a wonderful big brother. I love you so much Mister!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Dear Abby

You are one VERY loved little girl. I think you are incredibly lucky to have 3 big brothers...especially when they adore you as much as they do.

I can't even count the number of times Ethan has come up to give you hugs and kisses today. When Emery was a baby Ethan was 2 weeks from turning 3 so he wasn't as into the baby thing. Now that he is almost 5 he understands so much more.

Emery is almost 2 but it blows my mind how good he is with you. He always touches you gently (except once he kind of smacked your head for some unknown reason out of the blue, he was still gentle and it didn't phase you), he gives you kisses all the time, helps wipe up your burps, helps mama get you a diaper or grab the wipes, finds your binky and tells you "take it" yet never puts it in your mouth, drags the carseat to us to get you loaded up and he loves brushing your hair. He also demands "hold it, sissy" when he wants to hold you and a meltdown ensues if he doesn't get to. He will practically try to fight Ethan for the chance. It's pretty adorable when he mimics me and says "sissy girl" and "its ok sissy girl". He will get jealous of Ethan on daddy's lap but has never gotten jealous of mama or daddy holding you. Lucky you! He's a stink about his possessions.

Nathan, well he always loves babies and this is the one time he can be up in someone's face and its allowed since you can't see very far yet. Being 10 years older it will be interesting to see the bond between you. He obviously loves you but is very.reserved in his affection...unless its before bed and then he never fails to ask for loves to avoid bedtime for a few seconds longer.

Your daddy and I are so in love with you. Everyday I'm in awe that we actually got a girl and you were so unexpected!!! Your daddy loves buying you shoes, mama is on a kick for "head accessories" as your Papa and Grandma call them. I have tons of pinterest tutorials up on how to make you lots of cute bows, flowers and head bands. You wore one for the first time yesterday and you were stinking adorable. I thought daddy would roll his eyes but he agreed that you were so pretty. Your daddy loves his babies and you can tell he's secretly madly in love with you...and I adore it. You're so lucky to have him as a daddy and I know he's gonna be wrapped around that ungodly long pinky of yours.

I can't wait to see how grow and how beautiful you will be.

Mama loves you honey girl!

(I will have to add the photos of Nathan and Ethan holding you later since they're on my camera and I'm typing this from my phone as I nurse you)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Impromptu Photo Shoot

Unfortunately none of her itty bitty photos had really turned out well. I desperately need my 85mm lens but until that happens I have to deal with what I get. Pardon my bragging but I happen to think I have one gorgeous little baby. I am in love with her eyes and as they continue to lighten up I hope they stay a pretty blue like now.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Mama made muslin swaddle blankets

Once I discovered I was expecting a little girl I just pictured fun girly colors for everything. I also knew I wanted to try to the cozy looking muslin swaddle blankets I saw everywhere. However I didn't want the price tag attached to 3 or 4 Aden and Anais swaddles. I decided to look into making my own. I found my inspiration here. Jake and I ran all over town looking for the muslin. Joanne's didn't have it, none at Hancock Fabrics, none at a little hometown fabric store in the Garland District. So I had to get online and research. I thankfully found a site that had the right fabric ( I was hoping so anyway!) and ordered up a bunch. I don't remember how much I ordered. But enough to make four swaddle blankets and have a little side piece left for some burp cloths.

Mind you I started all of this back in October. I got the fabric right before we left to Montana November 8th. Once we got back I was so inspired that I sat down, measured twice, cut once and was ready to go.

I finished 2 sides of the first blanket and then somehow it was forgotten. I went back to it 3 months later and was SO frustrated with my sewing machine. Once I figured out that Emery had played with the tension dial and I corrected that I was able to finish the one blanket and do 2 or 3 edges on the 2nd blanket. This took forever because I was having to fold it 1/4" an inch, pin, go back fold over another 1/4" and re pin before I could sew. Then I tried ironing it but was still pinning and then ironing. I was just  over how long it was taking. So it was set aside again. 

2 months later I finally got the motivation to just sit down and finish the damn things because she could come any day! I don't know what overcame me but I changed how I folded and ironed without pinning and whipped them all out in just a couple hours. WHEW!

Then it was onto dying them. I followed this tutorial for the most part. I wet the blanket down, put some salt into the bowl. I didn't measure it out as I wasn't doing a ton of cloth. The RIT site calls for 1 cup of salt but holy wow that is a lot for one thin little blanket.

I wanted the coral color from the first tutorial so I used a little tangerine and a little fuchsia. I wasn't sure if it was going to look how I wanted and looked way more pink during the process. Once I rinsed and washed it was perfect!

With the second one I decided I didn't like the color the teal produced on the RIT website so I just added a little bit and more water to water it down a bit. Oh I loved the turquoise!

The third blanket I just couldn't decide on. I slept on it and this morning I just decided to do some fuchsia with a tiny pinch of teal. It was looking way too pale of a purple so I added a tiny bit more teal and it turned out great. I think the purple is my favorite surprisingly.

I am over the moon with how the turned out. The fabric was perfect and looks so good with color. I cannot wait to snuggle her up in them. As you can see I practiced with Emery after I had finished edging the first blanket, he was an adorable little swaddle taco.

Now I'm anxious to see what else I can dye. I love watching the changes and just how pretty the colors are...bring on the clothes :)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

week by week: 38

How far along: 38 weeks
How big is baby: not sure. Our midwife was unable to guesttimate how big she may be as she is posterior so all she can feel is arms and legs and no little bottom. Hopefully on Wednesday she will be able to feel more. She said she will be a good size baby. To me that is 7 or 8lbs, closer to 8. She definitely better not be 9. Then again I am HUGE!
Total weight gain: 27lbs as of 37 weeks and 5 days. Hopefully not much gain this week.
Maternity clothes:Oh yea!
Sleep: Still staying up too late with Jake. It also HURTS to roll over now. The pressure as I roll to my back is overwhelming and then slowly rolling from my back to my side everything pops and cracks.
Best moment these weeks: Ethan being such a great big brother. He asked "so when is the girl coming?" and as I finished projects for her he was so enthusiastic about how pretty they were.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: A friend on Facebook posted a picture of a tuna melt and now I want one so badly!
Movement: Seems like she is spending a little less time face up so not feeling as much. Still get my jabs though that keep me from worrying.
Labor Signs: none.
Belly Button in or out: in
Stretch marks: Nothing too new besides them being pink at the top. Rubbing coconut oil on them just to keep moisturized.
What I miss: not being sick! Thankfully I got some antibiotics for the sinus infection but this morning I was hacking my lungs out from drainage and woke up with an ear infection. Thankfully had Emery's ear drops left over from his a long time ago and made Jake put a couple in.
What I am looking forward to: seeing my family tomorrow. Our last trip and praying I don't go into labor.

Obsessing Over: Finishing up her projects which I finally accomplished. Jake had some nesting kick I think and cleaned the house 2 days in a row which motivated me to get on it. Thank goodness for that man :) <3 br="">
Anticipating: The next two weeks. Practically all ready for her!
Listening To: Emery yelling "mom" from his bed so I can get him up from nap time.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

week by week: 37

How far along: 37 weeks
How big is baby:
Total weight gain: Right about 27lbs. Still doing ok weight wise. I didn't gain any from week 35 to 36 but suddenly jumped up 5 lbs. I'm wondering if she just wasn't gaining as much and I was eating a ton of salads (upping my Vit K naturally) and then suddenly she just had a growth spurt.
Maternity clothes:Oh yea!
Sleep: Not getting as much, I've stayed up late on the weekends with Jake so I'm not clocking 12 hours anymore.
Best moment these weeks: Everyone being anxious. No one is bugging me, but everyone is rallying for her. Talk about one loved little girl!
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: I don't crave a whole lot. Most stuff just doesn't even sound good and I have to find myself something that sounds ok.
Movement: She has slowed down a little bit, I can still feel her rolling around and tons of hiccups at night. She is still face up so I am supposed to be doing lots of hands and knees to get her to flip to face down. I will probably feel a lot less when she starts laying that way.
Labor Signs: none.
Belly Button in or out: in but getting stretched thin.
Stretch marks: My old ones from Emery are growing at the top because I've been carrying her so high. Emery lifted up my shirt the other day to rub my belly, points at a stretch mark and says "coloring!" I told him that he and sissy had grown big in my belly and that's why I have coloring marks on my tummy.
What I miss: Not being sick. Fighting this crap for a month has gotten old.
What I am looking forward to: meeting our girl!

Obsessing Over: Finishing things up for her arrival.
Anticipating: What she looks like. I can't stop wondering what her hair will be like.
Listening To: a movie on tv.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

week by week: 36

How far along: 36 weeks
How big is baby: getting big. I didn't ask today how big she thought she might be.
Total weight gain: about 22 lbs. I didn't gain any weight from my last appointment 2 weeks ago. Exactly the same. Booyah :)
Maternity clothes:Oh yea!
Sleep: Best night of sleep 2 nights ago. Other than that the past week or two has been hit and miss with a sick stuffy child. Emery fell off the bed at the hotel in Portland so he slept between Jake and I....props to the parents who can co-sleep and still function the next day.
Best moment these weeks: I always look forward to Emery getting excited about sissy's appointments. He always says "sissy 'pointment! sissy heartbeat!"
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: Can't seem to think of anything. I've been eating a lot of salads lately but not necessarily a craving.
Movement: Still active as ever. Nothing has changed there.
Labor Signs: none.
Belly Button in or out: in
Stretch marks: She's starting to stretch them out. She's staying so high in my belly that the ones I had with Emery are growing from where they stopped. Either way it doesn't bother me. I never flaunted this belly to begin with so I will take my tiger stripes over a bikini any day.
What I miss: Not having heartburn every day.
What I am looking forward to: getting really anxious to meet her.

Obsessing Over: Getting things in order. I need to finish this up and finish her muslin swaddle blankets. I have barely 3 weeks left and she could come anytime. I still have yet to finish sewing them, dying them, packing a hospital bag, making a labor oil, assembling my birth photo mood board etc. Too much to do! Also stressing out about who will watch the boys if we have them when she comes...praying she comes on a day when they aren't with us.
Anticipating: everything.
Listening To: the boys playing.

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, February 18, 2013

week by week: 34

How far along: 34 weeks
How big is baby:see above or picture bigger.
Total weight gain: a pound a week, let's hope that's still the same at our appointment this Wednesday
Maternity clothes: just shirts and a belly band
Sleep:has been completely awful with my sickness, I can't breathe or my throat wakes me up from itching so bad.
Best moment these weeks:uhm nothing? I have a terror of a little boy, I'm sick, the boys were sicky when they were home. Just run down this week.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: Doing pretty good not craving anything
Movement: kicking my lower right side pretty hard that it takes my breath away. Other than that not too incredibly active.
Labor Signs:Had a really good braxton hicks last night. Hoping I will be able to suck it up and survive a natural birth.
Belly Button in or out:in but stretching
Stretch marks:slowly starting, trying to rub coconut oil on them each night.
What I miss:sleeping well and my pelvis not hurting.
What I am looking forward to: meeting this girl and having some activity back in my life
Listening To: The Lorax. Emery has demanded to watch it at least 2 times a day.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Carbs, how I love thee..

Everyone knows I love my bread and pasta. Go out to dinner and you get bread served. Why yes I will eat 6 pieces through out the meal. Then I look back and wonder where the love handles and pooch managed to get there.

Fast forward to early this year when I was doing my personal training. I learned so much more about food that I never knew. Very grateful for that. Add in a kiddo who has to see a dietician and my knowledge has extremely helped us and hasn't made the process a hard transition at all.

I got a bread maker from a yard sale last spring and never had the chance to use it as I always used my grandma's if I wanted bread.

I've been dying to use and have homemade bread. I have never made my own bread using yeast and needing it. In Home Economics we made pretzels once. (yes I have a pin ready to go for that to make with the boys).

Add in a blog post from Becky How to make bread and I was done for. I love reading about how her yummy food she makes and jealous that she's such an adorable little homemaker. So I added it to my starred items and vowed to jump on it soon.

I got the bread machine out of the garage and got it all cleaned up and ready to go. However she linked to a post about Quick French Bread and I realized I didn't need to bread maker. I was going to give a go all on my own.

The recipe is as follows:

    2 1/2 Cups Warm Water
    2 T. Yeast
    2 T. Sugar
    1 t. Salt
    3 T. Oil
    5 1/2 -6 Cups Flour

First:  Add yeast and then sprinkle the sugar over the 2 1/2 cups of water.  Let it sit for about five minutes until you see the yeast get all bubbly on top.

Next:  Stir in the salt, oil, and flour.

Then:  Knead the dough for a few minutes until it is smooth and pulls away from the bowl.

Then cover your bowl with a warm wet towel and let the dough sit for about 15 minutes.(The author put in this **Update:  Tip - put a bowl of water in your microwave and turn your microwave on for two minutes.  Then take the bowl of water out and set your bowl of bread dough in the warm microwave for the 15 minutes.  This moist, warm envirmonment makes the bread rise a lot faster.) I however didn't do this step, I just remoistened my wet towel, set the oven at 170 degrees per the adorable Becky's instructions and let it go 10 minutes that way.

I pulled it out after 10 minutes, kneaded it on the counter for a few minutes, just to feel like I actually did something to make bread haha.

Next, divide the dough into two long loaves (rolling like a jelly roll and tucking in the ends). Place both loaves side by side on a greased cookie sheet. Then take a knife and slash the tops of each loaf diagonally. Allow the loaves to sit for a few minutes while you preheat your oven to 375. Bake for 30-35 minutes until golden brown.


It seemed like it turned out all right. I used whole wheat flour so I don't know how or if that changes the outcome and if I needed to add more or less of anything. It was pretty dense but very soft. I have a long ways to go. I can't say how great it tastes due to being sick and stuffed up. But I can say it doesn't taste horrible. However I won't let Jake try it because he's so damn picky that I know he wouldn't like it. He rolled his eyes at me when I said I was going to make bread. I will try it again either way because I love fresh warm homemade bread. My sense of taste will hopefully be back by then so that I can accurately judge.

Either way, give it a shot and let me know what you think of it!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

week by week: 33

How far along: 33 weeks
How big is baby:probably closer to the 5.8lb mark.
Total weight gain: 20ish pounds. The midwife said I've been at a pound or a tiny bit more and that my weight gain has been really good. Whew.
Maternity clothes: Somewhat. I still wear yoga pants just with a belly band to feel more put together. I can still wear my layering tanks from Wet Seal with a jersey t from Target, sometimes a maternity shirt.
Sleep: Since being sick not good. I wake up in a pool of slobber and it is SO gross. I roll over and my hips pop and my pelvis feels like it's breaking. Jake said I snored like no other the other night and I tossed and turned most of the night switching sides.
Best moment these weeks: Our baby shower. We put her name on the cake to surprise everyone. They all thought they would have to wait until she was born. Seeing Auntie Jess' face was priceless, it was EXACTLY the reaction I was wanting!
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving:No cravings.
Movement: She slowed down for a couple days but yesterday and today I've felt her rolling around quite a bit. Sometimes my whole belly shakes. With Emery it was like that shiver feeling when you have to pee sooo bad and finally go and shiver in relief. With her it feels like a dog scratching his side. My whole belly just bounces.
Labor Signs: none.
Belly Button in or out: in
Stretch marks: She is still so high up that it's stretching out my belly up there so my stretch marks up there are starting to get pink like they're going to grow. Eh :x
What I miss: too many things to list. Pregnancy isn't as easy around the 2nd time around for me or I just don't enjoy it as much and just want her in my arms.
What I am looking forward to: just having this baby!

Obsessing Over: Getting her side of the room set up and organizing Emery's half and keeping it that way!
Anticipating: nothing major.
Listening To: Daddy, Emery and Ethan playing War and Ice Age 4 in the background.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Painting with a truck!

I follow Mandey from Mama Mandolin and her adorably cute twin boys. This post was of her boys painting but with cars and trucks. The wheels gave the painting different textures.

Being the mama to a boy who is OBSESSED with his cars and trucks I just knew we were going to have to do it.

Fast forward a few months to when I finally unpacked enough to get to the paints out. We sat down and I used some Crayola finger paints on some card stock taped to the table.

He had a blast driving the truck through the paint and being allowed to make a mess and smear stuff everywhere for once.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

week by week: 32

How far along: 32 weeks
How big is baby: according to this 2.5 to 3.5 pounds. I'm sure she's pretty close or above that.
Total weight gain: about 20lbs
Maternity clothes:Oh yea! I tried wearing a non maternity shirt and it was just too tight across the chest and arms. I wore it just fine pregnant with Emery but it was too uncomfortable this time.
Sleep: Hit or miss. Sometimes I just can't shut my mind off and have to take a sleeping pill.
Best moment these weeks: Just enjoying all the extra snuggles with Emery before sissy gets here.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: Haven't craved anything since about the beginning of the pregnancy.
Movement: Girl is a ninja. I swear she has little throwing stars on her elbows and knees and is trying to slice herself out.
Labor Signs: none.
Belly Button in or out: in
Stretch marks: The ones higher up on my belly are starting to get a little pink.
What I miss: not hurting. My pelvis hurts really bad lately.
What I am looking forward to: snuggling my girl.

Obsessing Over: Projects for her.
Anticipating:Our baby shower and surprising people.

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday, January 31, 2013

week by week: 31

How far along: 31 weeks
How big is baby:huge I'm thinking
Total weight gain:less than 20 lbs
Maternity clothes:Oh yea!
Sleep: Well I woke up from 3am to about about 6:30am so not so great last night.
Best moment these weeks:
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: nothing really
Movement: She is all over the place!
Labor Signs: Just some crampy Braxton Hicks
Belly Button in or out: in
Stretch marks: nothing new but I think they're going to start showing up soon. Time to start using the coconut oil.
What I miss:my pelvis not feeling like it's going to split open
What I am looking forward to:meeting my girl, I'm starting to get SO anxious!

Obsessing Over: making her things. I think that is how I nest lol
Working On: work stuff, this post and dinner.
Anticipating: our baby shower.
Listening To: I decided to let the boys watch Spongebob even though I cannot stand that show whatsoever.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

week by week: 30

How far along: 30 weeks
How big is baby: over the 95th percentile
Total weight gain:about 16lbs
Maternity clothes:Oh yea!
Sleep: Doing ok lately
Best moment these weeks: I'm a week behind and can't seem to remember anything about last week lol
Gender: GIRL!!!
Craving: Can't seem to think of anything.
Movement: Still active as ever. She seemed a little more quiet for a few days but I'm sure it was due to positioning.
Labor Signs: none.
Belly Button in or out: in
Stretch marks: nothing new
What I miss: sleeping on my back.  I'll wake up on my back in a panic because I don't know how long I've laid there and how much oxygen I may have deprived her of.
What I am looking forward to:possibly a 3rd ultrasound

Obsessing Over: Finalizing a name.
Anticipating: Baby shower, a name, meeting her.
Listening To: the boys singing the clean up song to get Emery to help