My heart hurts for the lives lost today. I woke up and read that there had been a shooting in an elementary school with one child and one adult dead. My heart ached for those families and the parent but I also thought "thank goodness it ended there!" How wrong I was! We turn on the tv and all we see is updates. 20 children dead, 6 adults, the killer and another adult at a different location. Those babies! Those innocent kids who will never get to experience their life. They went to school excited to learn their ABC's and do their basic math and tragically never got to go home and share their day with their family. I cried thinking of those parents in a complete panic if their child was alive or gone. Impatiently waiting to snatch up those precious little bodies and never let go. Those would be the longest and most painful moments of your life waiting to know. Unbearable! I look at my beautiful son and these handsome, intelligent brothers of his who are almost school age and my heart clenches thinking it could have been our oldest! I know that this is predicted in the bible but it doesn't make it any easier. It'll never get easier to hear about these tragedies.
I don't even know how to think of discussing it with the kids. Ethan overheard at lunch but how do you explain to a 4 year old? I just said that sometimes people are sick, but not like we get sick with stuffy noses and a cough but the sickness is in their brain and that sometimes it makes them do bad things. I didn't know what else to say, I don't want him to be scared to start school and he's too young to fully understand what the concept of what DEATH means. However I think this is a point to make about weapons. The boys think that guns and shooting at each other is ok. I am constantly telling them that though they may do that at their moms house it isn't acceptable and is never to be done at our house. I explained that weapons are only to keep you safe or provide your family with food. They just look at me like i'm on some tangent again and I never know how to get the point across that they are not toys even if the gun is an actual toy. Jake and I have a lot of discussing to do to figure out an appropriate way to address this, even if it's just to the oldest. If we get him set straight he can be the role model for Ethan and know that that type of play is unacceptable. I honestly don't think I will make it through the conversation without crying as I have tears trying to escape just typing this.
Until we can figure that out my thoughts and prayers are with everyone involved. I hope those families can move past this. It will be the hardest thing to ever have to deal with but with time it will hopefully ease the pain. I just pray that I never ever have to fathom this about my children, selfish as that is. No parent ever wants to go through a tragedy like this. I hope those kids can go back to school without being constantly afraid, to work through their trauma of losing their closest friends and teachers. I hope they all have a good support system and can work through the pain than hide it away like the shooter must have done to do something so horrendous. I hope all help is made available to that community and that schools take safety more seriously. I guarantee we will be seeing lots of slips sent home with safety information and the schools restricting access...and I will be praying by the time that Emery and the baby are school age that there will be awesome homeschool options available...because to be honest I never want my kids in that scenario.
2 Timothy 3: 1-5 But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here.2For
men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self‐assuming,
haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal,3having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self‐control, fierce, without love of goodness,4betrayers, headstrong, puffed up [with pride], lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God,5having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these turn away.