A weird thing happened tonight. I was going through people that Facebook told me I might know and looking at their photos and I thought how I am in a completely different place than so many people I feel.
is so weird to run across people who I went to school with, beauty
school with, mutual friends etc and see how they party, they travel,
they do whatever they want. It's the weirdest thing but if I for a split
second picture myself where they are I get this fleeting moment of
panic, anxiety and a weird stomach flop. Emery is my WORLD, I cannot
picture myself anywhere but being his mama. I have literally
NO idea where I would be or what I would be doing if I wasn't a mother.
All I know is that NOTHING I could be doing would ever make me as happy
as I am now. Emery is my other little half and he has completed my
world. I guess this is what being grown up is...and my God I would not
change this for ANYTHING!
Not a single material thing could be worth more to me than his laugh and huge smile as he gets pushed in a swing, his little feeling finger as he investigates something new, his "side eyes" and batting his eyelashes when he gets caught doing something I don't approve and he thinks that will make me laugh and he won't be busted, watching him push cars around the room, demanding more nanananana, his fearlessness, the way he just lights up when he sees me, his daddy or his brothers. His love for Ollie and how he tries to pull him out of the crib by his leg and drag him throughout the house, his OBSESSION with tires, how he tries to fix things with his daddy, how proud he is of himself every time he drinks from a straw. I could go on and on but for some reason this entire thought just has me so emotional.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing that could top being a mama.