My Sallie Mae payment is due May 26. I still owe my mom for my student loan that is in her name. I have about 1/2 of it. I spent over an hour trying to navigate their web page to see what deferments I'm eligible for. Last year I had it deferred for a year so I could get my other things payed off since credit cards cannot be deferred. Well I got them all paid off within that year but also had a baby within that year.
I have to go to work SOON but how the eff am I supposed to know what I can work when we have court dates all the time that I have to go to, along with a 3 day trial and then who knows if we'll get the boys?! I mean I already have to tell them I can only work till 1 and 1:30 at very latest because Jake has to leave for work at 2:20. I will NOT put Emery in daycare. There have been 38+ infant/toddler deaths this year in the state from abuse/neglect. I will NOT risk my child's life. I also, as much as I love his parents will not let them watch him for 4 hours everyday. They are heavy smokers and it's just too much secondhand smoke for him and seeps into all of our baby stuff. I love them dearly but his health is my main concern.
I told Jake that when I go back to work one whole check will basically go to student loans and so then I'm only contributing about 300 dollars a month to the household. He said we'll have to do something and I asked what and he of course had no ideas. So that means the days he has off I'll be working a full shift and he'll have all 3 boys to deal with. I'll also only get 3 hours in the evening before bedtime with my baby. I will no longer have any free days to go to lake, to do family stuff or even take a mini vacation this summer to Montana or Seattle. Oh frickin well.
I called my manager and have to go meet with her at 1:30 to talk about getting me back to work and hopefully she is willing to work with me. This is so hard and I've lost it about 3 times today. I tried to defer my loan for just a couple months so that I can get back to work and be able to make those payments. I'm so frustrated with the entire situation. There is so much constantly on my mind but it's nothing I can speak. Things that are said can never ever be taken back so instead I'll just deal with bitterness inside.
Maybe somewhere someone has me as a long lost relative and will inherit me a million dollars...or I can find a winning lotto ticket on the ground. One can wish right?