Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I am so overwhelmed.

I ended up with this bump on my inner thigh. I used to get them every once in awhile and they'd reallllly hurt for a week and then go away. Well this one didn't, it ended up bigger than a golf ball in diameter and raised probably a half inch off my normal skin. It was so uncomfortable to sit or have clothes touch so finally after 3 or 4 days of suffering I left work early to go to the doctor. He called it Cellulitis, which is close but since I've had them since freshman year of high school or so and after much research I know it as Hidradenitis Suppurativa. He put me back on Amoxicillin and gave me an ointment to rub on it 3 times a day and told me to take lots of baths. I told him I took one or two everyday and he said take 2 or 3 if you can. The heat brings the blood and antibiotics to the area.

A day later it started bleeding. SO GROSS, but such a relief as it relieved a lot of pressure. He said that its because my immune system is basically non existent because I'm pregnant.

These last 2 months have been HELL. Being sick for weeks at a time, now this and after this probably a raging yeast infection because of the 20+ days of antibiotics. Kayla 0 Pregnancy +2 with a pending third.

I never thought I'd say this because I was enjoying my pregnancy but I'm ready to be done! For the simple fact that I want my immune system back.

I can deal with the swollen feet, the sore lip, the getting up to pee every night 3 times a night, waking up coughing my lungs out in the middle of the night because I'm so full of hormones, the heartburn, the knees and elbows to random insides, the feeling that my crotch is going to fall out...most everything but not the sinus shit and definitely not raging sebaceous lumps of skin inside my leg. OVER IT!

I even had to change my lip ring to a horseshoe. Mind you my lips were full to begin with so after they pierced it I never changed the piercing stud because the smaller ones for normal people were too tight. So this one was long which never mattered unless I smiled a certain way and it would stick out a bit. My lips have now swollen so much that all that extra room was no more. My lip ring was being sucked into my lip. So now I have a big hideous horseshoe in there.

So from all this being sick and missing 2 1/2 days because I could not walk, I could not sleep and I definitely couldn't sit, no pressure on my right leg whatsoever. I had to sit on my left leg and lean to keep pressure off my right thigh. Impossible when your back and pelvis already hurts from normal sitting! So I took the time off and today my supervisor called to tell me that my temp assignment that was ending March 30th is now ending this Friday. I started crying and told her that I was really sorry and thank you for the opportunity but everything has gone to hell in pregnant Kayla body. She said she totally understands as it's the last two months and she's been there and is currently pregnant again.

This just makes me feel so guilty because now that is an entire week of no pay that could have went to make sure we were able to comfortably make ends meet while I'm on maternity leave and now I'll probably have to go back to work after a month to help out. 

AND ON TOP OF THAT. We had 5 days to fill out a 46 page packet on what makes Jake the better parent than the boys' mom, what their differences are on a zillion different topics and then we had to provide ALL of our evidence. If it's not done by tomorrow he's filing a motion to comply and we have to pay his attorney fees, when he's not even our freaking attorney. So I spent 30 bucks and 2 hours standing at a copier coping hundreds of photos of the boys' neglect and a hundred of her doing the stuff she does, and now have to fill out 26 pages of info in the packet, all tonight. In 3 hours so I can be up in time for my last 3 days of work. If I don't go I'm going to have an emotional meltdown.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise and I'll go into labor next week when my mom and sister are here. Direct all thoughts to middle of next week for Emery's grand entrance into the world!

4 comments:

  1. holy crap...you need a break!

    that last part about the lawyer just pisses me off. why does it all have to be so difficult???

    hang in there, mama...good things are to come (sleepless nights, sore boobs, ground zero vajayjay...i'm just a ray of sunshine, huh?)!

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  2. Oh cellulitis is a regular for the hubs, maybe he has hidradenitis suppurativa too!

    I really hope all this work will put things in your favor. Why is it so difficult to do what is best for a child(ren)? I think lawyers are ridiculous in general and their fees are outrageous. The legal system is laughable in general.

    Hoping you get your extra baths, maybe some pool time to easy your joints too! Maybe the money fairy will stop by too!

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  3. Geez girlfriend, I am so sorry! I hope you are feeling better today. Feel better, relax if you can...everything will work out fine:)

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  4. holy crap...you need a break!

    that last part about the lawyer just pisses me off. why does it all have to be so difficult???

    hang in there, mama...good things are to come (sleepless nights, sore boobs, ground zero vajayjay...i'm just a ray of sunshine, huh?)!

    ReplyDelete