No baby. Big brudder Nathan is having his ADHD evaluation done.
It's been a long road for us. All of the signs we chalked up the the stress of the situation. We are very good about not saying anything about the court situation or discussing any of it around the kids. They don't need to stress about it and only worry about being a child, however his mother doesn't feel the same and tells him stuff that stresses him out.
We thought the bed wetting may have been from stress from all of that, it's a lot for an 8 year old to handle. I remember when I was 9 or 10 my mom started working a 2nd or 3rd job and apparently it stressed me out so badly that I wet the bed. I felt like I was on the potty and started going. I woke up and felt sooo ashamed. That was the only time it ever happened but it gave me a little insight into his situation. Add to the fact that his mother had him in diapers until he was 7 at her house until the courts got on her about it, she's not a good role model in the anti-lazy department.
However the situation has gotten so much worse. It went from never to every once in awhile, to consistent to constant and last weekend he did it even during nap during the day. Went from just night time to that and day time. We are so stressed trying to help him, to find out the reason why and help but he just looks at us blankly. We've also asked her numerous times to help us on her end but she just dismisses it. She obviously doesn't care that this is not normal and that this can lead to humiliation especially if kids at school start making fun of him. Children can be so cruel. We end up feeling stressed out to completely helpless and back again. With a baby on the way it's going to be hard to be changing a baby, a stubborn almost 3 year old who doesn't want to be potty trained and an 8 year olds constant laundry twice a day.
We ruled out another situation we thought it may have been and the only thing I knew to try after that was ADHD testing. Maybe his mind is SO busy with everything that he sleeps so hard at night or it's going so much at night even that he doesn't know to get up.
They gave us a packet to fill out and it was an eye opener of how much there is to ADHD that we didn't realize and how much of it related to him. He is an amazing little boy and so so smart. It was just little things we started noticing, the constant foot tapping. Telling him to do something and he'd take 5 steps to go do it and get side tracked and we'd have to remind him of what we asked. Picking on his little brother and didn't even phase him when he'd be told time and time again to quit picking on his brother that it was upsetting him. We thought maybe its because at his moms all he does is watch TV and play video games and when he's done with that picking on Ethan is good entertainment, plus she encourages that by picking on him too and thinking its so cute even though Ethan gets so upset! However at our house we do stuff every time we have them. We have games, they have so many toys it can barely be contained, we go do activities every weekend and he still is just a busy bee and gets bored.
His teacher told us that she was so happy we had brought in the packet as she really feels "he's an ADHD kiddo". I guess his mom has ADD so it makes sense that he would have it. She said he's gotten really disruptive in class even with reminders. Just today when Jake went to pick up the packet he walked to the class and she asked a question, Nathan answered. She asked another kid a question and Nathan answered and she had to remind him that he had answered and it was another kids turn. It's good that he pays attention in class and will answer, but he doesn't understand boundaries. It happens here as well, we ask Ethan to do something and he runs to go do it or answers for him. It gets frustrating.
So tomorrow we have the evaluation. We don't want to medicate him but if its necessary then we will as its best for him. He deserves to think and focus like other kids his age. His brain needs to do what it needs to and not overwork itself. I also believe that if we get custody he will not have to be medicated. Sometimes ADHD can be linked to a deficiency and can be changed just by a certain diet. Considering that he does not have a consistent sleep schedule at her house, sleeps on a couch and does not eat a good healthy meal except when he is with us it makes sense that he may be lacking something. If he was here and had good consistent sleep every night along with good healthy meals, his vitamins and proper guidelines/discipline he would learn how to work with it.
I really hope that this is where it ends. All we want is for him to be able to think and act like a kid his age, not frantic processing. It's something that definitely has a remedy. If it doesn't end here I have no idea where to go next. Sleep apnea? Diabetes testing? The research is stressful and breaks my heart. Fingers crossed that we get some answers tomorrow!