Sunday, February 27, 2011


No, no baby.

My sister came into town and I had some shopping to do. A gift card to Babies R Us that Jake was bugging me to hurry and use and the little things I still needed such as baby bath time stuff, onesies and socks.

Our plan was to go to breakfast and go shopping for a few hours. I wanted a jump start on shopping so we went to Babies R Us first and then to breakfast.

My sister and I went to Frank's Diner because they have the best breakfast ever. We're finishing up our breakfast and figuring out where to go next when Jake texts me. He told me that he needed my keys before 12:15 because the apartment complex needed to look at our water heater. I immediately said "oh geez what's wrong with the water heater." He said something about how it was just an annual inspection they have to do every year.

Of course I'm thinking "great!" We just moved in and when Jake said they'd need access to the water heater and didn't want stuff packed around it. I told him they shouldn't need access for awhile and to just put our extra dining room chairs in front of it, no big deal. Now he has to move our cars and rearrange the garage.

I am thinking of how that interrupts our shopping and it's 11:15 so I'm trying to hurry my sister into paying for her half so that I can run home quick to drop them off. She's taking FOREVER! She's texting my mom and telling me about my poor dog getting sick last night and blah blah blah. She said she needs to use the restroom and feed Hadley. I was like well shoot, people wait for these booths because it's an old train car and not many seats. I explained that someone would be waiting for our booth so we should just run home quick since its 5 minutes away and we can both potty and she can feed Hadley. She told me Hadley is gonna be mad going back into her seat hungry and scream the whole way back. I said it'll be ok, it's 5 minutes and I won't go insane. She resigns the discussion and says ok. Then Hadley goes into the seat and she starts getting fussy. I of course feel bad and say ok we'll feed her quick. I grab her stuff and we head out to the car and Kass feeds her there. Kassie says we need to get gas quick and I'm like "we can get it at Safeway, it's right down the road from us and we can go there after we drop the keys off before shopping. "Ok." She puts Hadley back in her seat and is walking around the car and stops by her door to text. She didn't even get in the car to send the text while I'm driving! I'm like "KASSIE!" She finally gets in the car and I tease her about being a horrible space case with a one track mind and no more texting skills.

We get home and I tell her to just wait in the car and I'll run the keys up and go pee quick. She's like "no I need to pee too." So we bail outta the car and hike up the stairs, I open the front door and step in and hear "SURPRISE!" I'm stunned, shocked! I think I literally stood there for a minute just in shock and heating the outdoors. Then I almost started crying and had to collect myself. I barely remember who I saw and then I looked around wondering what was going on and see 4 or 5 diaper cakes on our counter and goodies everywhere! (I'll upload pics when someone gets them to me, I'm sure I have shocked expression and my jaws on the floor.) I didn't even put makeup on thinking it was just my sister and a quick shopping trip so I'm going to look like hell. Of course Jake is way too nice and never tells me I look like shit and to put some one.

I couldn't believe Jake pulled this off! Usually I ask so many questions and like details. I have to know everything. Usually he starts getting annoyed at all my questions so the past couple months I've just learned to not ask so many and try to roll with things. This of course made it all the easier for his tricky self.

He had Facebook'ed my friends to see what dates and had his sister-in-law Vanessa plan and do the hosting. Just a couple weeks ago she asked for a 2nd time if I was having a baby shower and I said no because my family is all out of town and my friends have mostly moved away or don't have babies. I told her I was just wanting a book from everyone with a note for Emery in it to start him a little bookshelf. She must have been fishing to see if I'd had any ideas about it.

Everyone got me everything I had needed plus more. The only thing I need are socks now. Its a good thing we went to breakfast first otherwise I would have bought all the bath time stuff and the little extras. I now have enough baby bath stuff to last until he's 8.

Vanessa did such an amazing job. She provided EVERYTHING! She made the coolest decorations. She made cheesecake bites, cupcakes, marshmallows dipped in chocolate with sprinkles, she had fresh fruit and it was soooo good for this time of the year, a fondue set for the strawberries, caramel popcorn, sundae type things with cherries, hot fudge, bananas and nilla wafers. She had games planned and goody bags, just EVERYTHING. She went above and beyond.

I want to cry just thinking about it. I've never had a surprise in my life and had accepted that I wouldn't have a baby shower and Jake pulled it off. I can't even believe it. Only one of my friend's was able to make it which meant a lot because she's always the busy one but made time. He invited a bunch but they had to work and such and my friend/coworker Cassie I guess got lost. It still meant so much that his family had come and totally spoiled us. I'm so thankful for all them, especially Jake. He is the best.

It was funny for me to piece it all together. I was in shock for most of the shower just trying to put it all together and how I hadn't caught on. I guess my sister had been reeling for help because I was trying to rush back and she was trying to get me sidetracked. Hence her need to for slow talking, texting, needing to feed the baby etc etc. She couldn't figure out how to get me back to the house before all that, so that's when Jake had his idea of the water heater. Even the night before she said she'd come get me at 9:30 to go shopping and I looked at Jake and said she was so crazy and that I wanted to sleep in. I guess she had snuck in while he was helping Ethan wash his hands and ask when to get me outta the house. The weather had even gotten bad before Kassie was going to come to town and I was getting bummed she may not come. I guess Jake had been in a panic because it had been planned around her visit.

I had even noticed a car like his sisters parked up at the top of the road and thought it looked like Jess' car but it was plowed around and she hadn't made any plans with us. Good thing I hadn't noticed Heather's car.

I still just can't even believe. I'm now overwhelmed with baby stuff to wash and organize and put away. I had 4 diaper cakes that I had to take apart and sort diapers. I'm feeling so prepared now and so very very thankful.

Thank you to everyone who kept it a surprise and came, it means so much! I'll try to get pics up as I get them. The diaper cakes were a hit!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Bad bad bad nitrates

Last night I had a quick bowl of Chef Boyardee Ravioli. Not very good at all but I needed something with meat in it and not just carbs. After I got back from taking Jake lunch I was starting to get a really bad headache. I took a bath and it slowly turned into a migraine.

I went to bed and woke up about 4 times in the middle of the night from said migraine. I even got up at 3am to take my migraine medicine and that helped enough to get me back to sleep but at 6:20am I still had it. So I called in saying I had a migraine I needed to kick before I could come into work.

I remember when the migraines first started in my pregnancy...I had a craving for hot dogs. I figured one or two was ok. I had a horrible migraine each day after I had one. It dawned on me a couple days later that It might be from the hot dogs so I quit eating them and the migraines disappeared. Threw the rest of the package away.

So after last night I've summed up that nitrates/nitrites trigger my migraines. I'm apparently going to have to google alternate names for them and make sure they're not in my food.

I'm curious if this will end after I'm pregnant as I never had a problem before I was, or if it will continue afterwards as well.

Looks like this is the perfect excuse to eat wayyy healthier and the boys and Jake are gonna have to roll with it.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

All moved in and lots of other random stuff.

-Last Saturday was crazy busy. Jake was up at about 6am so anxious for the day and finishing up last minute packing. I got the boys ready and we went to Nathan's school for his Valentines pancake party and we ate lotsa pancakes. Then back to the house and he wanted to help move too so was given a job and was a great helper.

-We got everything in the house and I immediately started in on the bathrooms since those were the boxes I could find and it was a disaster. I wanted at least something finished. By the end of the night we had most of the stuff put away except our room is still soooo full of boxes. We can't touch much of it until we get a bookshelf since I have so many books. We also are trying to find a nice dresser that we like.

-I got Emery's dresser finished. Found new drawer pulls and got those on and his room is mostly set up. Just little things to do and gather.

-My sister is going to be here this weekend and we have a ton of shopping to do for last minute things and for backdrops and items to do my nieces photos.

-My coughing wasn't getting any better and one morning I coughed crap out of my lungs. I made a doctors appointment and was told that it was an upper respiratory infection and viral. There was no medicine he could get me except for a nasal spray to help with all the fluid in my head and ears so that it may drain less and not irritate my throat any further. He said the only problem was finding one safe for pregnancy. He found ONE. That ONE was not covered by my insurance. I told him I could pay out of pocket. He told me that it was $180.00. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Less than half an ounce of liquid and it costs $180.00. For that price it better shrink my nose, take the swelling from my feet and make me feel 110% better in an hour. Obviously I couldn't afford that. I got to the front doors of the doctors office and started bawling on my way to the car and on the drive home. I was sooo tired of being sick. That was week 3 of not feeling any better. It's just now starting to diminish. The cough that it is. I still barely have a voice, its all gravelly. I finally caved and got the Netti pot like my mom told me and did it last night. It really did help a lot with cleaning me out so I need to do it again today.

-Jake took Sunday off of work so we could have a date night and get some stuff done around the apartment. We went out to dinner and a movie. Just Go With It is totally worth the insane amount of money one spends on a movie ticket. The next morning Jake was sick with what I had. He's been coughing up his lungs and really weak. The boys are sick too and of course their mother refuses to take them because...she's mother of the year. I won't even go into that because there's too much and it makes me soooooooooo angry. I'm just praying I don't get this sickness back all over again.

-This past Saturday we went to Monster Jam. TicketsWest is a joke. Will never deal with them EVER again. We bought tickets for the Pit Party or Pit Pass whatever the hell it is. You get to meet the drivers and see the trucks and take pictures/get autographs. We were soooo excited. We stood in line for over an hour in the cold and wind just to get inside and be told that we can't go to the Pit Party because the 2nd set of tickets has to be for the 2pm show and we were sold the 7:30 show. WHY would their website sell us the tickets if the tickets that had to go with it were not the correct ones?! They send us up to guest services to exchange the tickets. We stand in line for 20 minutes in even worse wind just to be told that the 2pm show is sold out and also that they are no longer letting people in for the Pit Party even if they had bought tickets. The line was insane! There was at least 200 or 300 people still standing in line. WHY would they sell the extra tickets if they didn't have the capacity to get everyone in? They should have only sold as many as was allowed in the building. Also we had been standing in line forever and I had to pee soooo bad. After the fiasco I asked if I could use the restroom at least. The one lady said yes and directed me to someone. I walked over there and suddenly this lady is in my face and I told her I needed to use the restroom. She asked where my tickets were and I explained there was a mix up we had to resolve but I really needed to use the restroom. She told me no. I looked at her and said "lady I am PREGNANT and I have to pee. I'm already pissed off and had to stand in the cold just to be told our tickets got screwed up by your company. I NEED TO PEE!" She looked at me like "Oh shit" and told me to come back to her immediately after I went. I was so annoyed. I'm sure TicketsWest was dealing with a ton of angry people. Jake was so frustrated and upset. He was probably more excited for the boys than the boys were. They were ok with not being able to go. We went to lunch and then took naps before we were going to go to the 7:30 show. Jake's friend and his son show back up for the 7:30 show and we're standing in line. I hand over the tickets and I hear the triple beep again and go "oh shit." She hands me back the tickets and says sorry these are for the 7:30 show on FRIDAY. WTF!? Jake specifically bought the tickets for 2pm on SATURDAY when we have the boys and because it was required for the pit party. Let me tell you that TicketsWest website times out. You have 45 seconds to enter ALL of your information after you pick your seats. So somewhere in the rush of filling out his info the website had to have malfunctioned and screwed shit up. We picked our seats and entered our info and the dates we wanted and didn't get those. Error on our part for not checking the tickets when we printed them out but considering TicketsWest went through some merger and is now the only one or one of the top 2 ticket selling sites we figured it'd be legit and they'd have it done correctly. Anywho, I grab the tickets and storm as quickly as my waddling self allows over to the ticket counter. The lady was pregnant as well so I figured she'd have a little sympathy for me, more than the lady that afternoon who was trying to refuse me the bathroom. I told her the entire situation and apparently after her supervisor was fixing things and we were asked to step to the side for a moment, the lady behind us had faced the same situation. Thankfully they were able to get us in that night. Different seats than we had wanted but at least got to see the show. I had a blast, got a ton of great pictures, which I'll upload later. Ethan was so sick that he fell asleep the last 20 minutes of the show. Apparently his ear protection worked amazing.

-Ethan's sleep schedule is so screwed up. He woke up at 2am and got changed. Then he woke up at 5am with a 100.7 fever. He was a buttinsky about getting his temperature taken but I told him if he didn't take it at home that we were going to the hospital. He didn't want to go to the hospital but didn't want to take his temperature so we had to explain that if we did it at the hospital they'd put it in his butt. Took another 10 minutes of convincing but he finally let Jake take it. He wouldn't put his tongue down or close his mouth so we ended up sticking it in his armpit. I got him some cold juice and he sucked it down and took medicine and went back to bed for a little longer. Apparently his "mother" lets him stay up and watch cartoons while she's pulling all nighters doing her homework because she wastes her afternoon and evenings on Facebook games and runs out of time. So his sleep schedule is sooo backwards. His nap on Friday after Jake picked them up lasted from 10am until 6pm when I got home and forced him to get up so he'd sleep that night. He screamed for two hours because he was so miserable. All I can say is April cannot come any faster. They need stability and consistency.

-I will try to get some pictures of the belly this week...and include my face haha along with the Monster Jam pictures. But right now I have to make Jake sandwiches and take them to work because for some reason he never takes a lunch. Then home, Epsom bath with a book and then early bed time since yesterday was too busy and I didn't get enough sleep. Though on another note the iron is SLOWLY working and I'm getting by on less sleep. THANK GOSH!

I'll try to catch up on everyone's blogs in the next couple days.

"Thats a big belly!"

That's what Ethan told Jake and the doctor today at our appointment.

I'm 33 weeks as of 2 days ago. I'm officially at the stage where my hips are spreading and they constantly ache and pop. It's so painful and hard to roll over in my sleep.

Emery's heart rate was 140. He's still head down and measuring 2 weeks bigger. Jake asked if it was possible for him to measure that much bigger because he's going to be tall and she said absolutely. I asked how big she thought he was and as she felt my belly she told me a heavy 7 or low 8. I have no doubt in my mind that he's going to be tall like daddy and his brothers but I also am certain he won't be a 7 something pound baby. He will be in the 8's. My family makes big 8 lb babies and Jake himself was 8lb5oz I believe so he'll be in the 8's.

I have one more 2 week appt and then I switch to weekly and have to have my Strep B test done. Really not excited for that.

Is it possible for babies to have seizures in the womb? Sometimes my entire belly shakes like crazy for about 30 or 40 seconds. It's not him kicking or rolling. It's like crazy vibrating spasms inside.

A girl at work said he was taking a pee. I said wha?

You know when you have to pee sooooo bad and when you finally do you get a shiver and just think "ahhhhh." because it feels so good to finally be able to go. That's whats happening hahaha So now I call his little whatever it is he does, the pee shake. It's the weirdest sensation ever.

Besides that he's still crazy active even though that was supposed to start slowing down. He's constantly squirming around in there, grinding my guts and adjusting daddy's back.

7 weeks till we get meet him!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Iron Fail ...again...

Last night I had some soup for dinner and took my 4 iron pills and headed off to the tub. I was in there 10 minutes, if that, before I was crawling out to throw it all up. The nausea was worse than my morning sickness, I seriously texted Jake bawling because I felt sooo awful and was certain that something just isn't right with me. Yesterday was an all around horribly day for this mama. One of the top 5 I've had.

I couldn't get back in the tub so I just crawled into bed and was dozing off texting Jake. I slept for about 4 hours and he got home at 11:45, I don't know when he crawled into bed but I got up then to go potty and was still sooo nauseous. I slept for a few more hours and then just woke up sick as could be with a really bad headache. I couldn't go back to sleep so I laid there for 3 hours trying not to be sick again. Decided I wasn't going to be going to work because I need to rest. Ended up dozing off and slept fitfully because I kept checking my phone for the time so I could call into work, even though I had set an alarm. I slept until about 7:30 and got up with Jake and watched an episode of Celebrity Rehab and Teen Mom 2. 

Had a couple hash browns for breakfast and ran to Lowe's. I was determined to finish Emery's dresser while I was home and while we still have a garage since we move Saturday. Got the paint, the paintbrush and the drawer pulls then got some other stuff we needed and I set in on the dresser as soon as we got home. I got it all sanded down as best as I could. Word to the wise, never use latex paint on wood if you're going to be sanding it off later down the road. It gets hot as you're sanding and remelts in clumps so it was a bitch to get it off. I went through 4 different things of sandpaper. I then got the first coat of brown on and it looks so much better already. The drawer pulls unfortunately won't fit so I have to pick out some new ones.

We went to lunch and when we got home I decided I HAD to try to take more iron because my body so desperately needs it. I decided to start slow so I only took 2 with a glass of orange juice. Didn't throw it up, thankkkkkk goodnesssss! If I have to take 2 with each meal then that's what I'll do because I cannot handle the exhaustion I've been having but at the same time, I can't throw up every single time I take it. I lose my food that way, end up dehydrated and I always blow all the blood vessels around my eyes and mouth so it looks like Jake beat me or something. Nope, just fell down the pregnancy tree and hit my face on the barf branch.

Laid down and took a nice long 2 1/2 hour nap. I could have slept longer but I know I need to pack up the bathroom. My back is so stiff from bending over and sanding the dresser down and then re-painting it. 

Our pack and play showed up at Jake's parents so I have to go pick that up tonight. Then I'm going to pack the bathroom and take a nice long hot epsom salt bath and read a book since I missed out on mine last night. Might eat a couple pieces of toast and take my other 2 iron before bed. Wish I had some of Mandy's homemade bread ;)

We sign the paper's tomorrow at 11. Jake does anyway since I'll be working. He's gotta get 2 packs of beer in the fridge for all the people helping on Saturday. Saturday I'm taking the boys to Nathan's school. They're having a Valentine's breakfast party so its endless pancakes. I'll take my camera and hopefully get to really use it since I haven't yet and get some good pics. Jake and his ton of friends are moving everything while we're gone. I won't have to do the moving for once, so nice considering this will be the 4th time I've moved within a year. (From my studio to a one bedroom that Jake helped me move like a week or two after we met, then I was never there because I was always with him and the boys so then we moved me into his house and now to our new home)((rad run on sentence)) I'm over it! And the boys will be out of the way. We'll get back and have pizza if the guys haven't eaten it all and then we get to unpack. Jake is so excited, I don't think I've ever seem him this excited before. He's so ready to be out of this house after the shitty 7 years he's spent here. I think I'll be excited once we get settled in there. I'm too tired and stressed to be excited. But he's cute about it, I just wanna kiss his face off sometimes.

That's that for now. I need to go get the pack and play, pack the bathroom and take my bath. I'll be taking the iron after my bath so I get to enjoy the hot water. Wish us luck!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


I really hate that no one gets how #&$%*#$ tired I am. It literally pisses me off when I hear "oh well once the baby gets here, blah blah blah." Yea well the baby isn't here yet so I should be able to get shit done. I've been sleep deprived before, I used to run on only 4-5 hours of sleep. I did just fine. This tired is something completely different.

I wake up at 6:30am work till 5, get home at 5:30 and in bed by 7 or 7:30pm. I have no time to do anything. I have so much to do before Emery gets here and I'm never going to get it done. I still have to sand his dresser and paint it, I have to get his room set up, I have to finish shopping for the necessities we need, I need to get myself things to prepare for him and after him. I have to have time to practice my hypnobirthing. I try to at bedtime but I'm literally asleep within a minute of my head hitting the pillow. With my new work schedule I only get to see Jake for 20 minutes in the morning, after work on Friday, Saturday and until 2:30 on Sunday. We have the boys Friday- 10am on Sunday so of course we can't do anything on those days because we constantly have to be doing stuff for them. I can't even sleep in on the weekends because they're running through the house, bickering with each other, being loud and disruptive and then I wake up realllllly fucking cranky.

Then my anxiety has shown up and my chest hurts allllll day. As if I'm not breathless from being squished inside, I have anxiety making my chest even tighter. Of course I can't say any of this because then I'm big whiny baby.

I wanted to flip the fuck out on EVERYONE today. The annoying bitches down the way who talk in their shrill voices like dumb little valley girls. The girls who wear high heels and clomp around because they have no idea HTF to walk in them. The people who fill out the forms I have to enter for 7.5hrs a day, it says to print but nope, they scribble and I can't read the shit. Then I spend 10 minutes online using all these different resources to figure out what it says, or the number for the address. I especially wanted to smack whoever made the goddamn kettle corn and packed it around. If I had a nap I'd be fine but of course I'm not getting paid to take a nap. I'm a zombie if I do something at work and don't get to sleep as long. I literally just space off alllll day. I cannot focus and all I can think of is how my heavy body feels from exhaustion. I'm afraid to drive because I'm so tired and then I'm all freaking out thinking of accidents and praying I don't because nothing can happen to Emery.

I'm a wreck. I'm about to have a huge emotional meltdown. I don't know how to remedy this...the iron isn't working fast enough so until it kicks in I'm going to be exhausted, bitchy and overly emotional all while dealing with all this anxiety because of everything.

I'm going to go take a longgg hot bath with a book and hope I can calm down and then sleep for my measly 10hours.

Monday, February 7, 2011

31W1D OB Appt

Today's appointment was good. Emery's heartbeat was 140 as usual, my blood pressure was great, as usual andddd I'm still 2 weeks ahead measurement wise, as usual. She said +/- 2 weeks is good. I think she only seemed worried about me measuring 2 weeks bigger at my last appointment was because my first glucose test came back high and she was probably wondering about gestational diabetes. Now that GD has been ruled out we're back to normal so we probably won't get an ultrasound. I figured that would happen but I still wanted to see his little face.

My belly was really pointy this morning...she said it's cuz he's stickin' his hiney out.

I can't wait to see his cute little hiney! He still has 5 more pounds to gain though so he's definitely gonna be a chub.

I've been taking my iron for 2 weeks and no luck with the exhaustion. She wrote on my post it at the last appt 325 mg and on the bottle I got from the pharmacist it says 65mg. So here I was taking 65 mg and eating a Fiber One bar so I could still go potty and wondering why I had to go WAY more than usual. I upped it to 2 pills and still the same issue. So I mentioned it today and she said I need to take the 325mg. I'll do the math for you...that's 5 iron pills a day. I'm not doing that all at once because then I'll be so backed up I'll want to rip my intestines out so I'm going to bump it up to 4 and then up to 5. Hopefully it starts building up quick because I am dead without 12+ hours of sleep at night. Today at work I was spacing out for 5+ minutes at a time before I'd snap back to reality and realize I'd just been staring at my computer screen for who knows how long. Life is rough as an anemic.

My sister is coming to visit the 24th and she's bringing Sugar Plum with her. I've been laying in bed thinking of allllll the ways I'm gonna photograph my favorite little plum with my new camera. Plus all the things I want to get and do for my maternity photos. I'm going to go to Michael's sometime this week to get some props. I can't wait for the first victim :)

Lemme just remind you of how freaking adorable she is...I wanna eat her face!

I think that's all I have for now. I'm going to work on finishing up the blanket I've been crocheting as a backdrop for pics for Emery once he gets here and I'm taking my pathetic self to bed at 7pm to catch up on sleep and hopefully be able to function for a normal 8hr shift tomorrow.

One last thing...if anyone can make me this...both pieces, I will pay you for your time and the shipping. This is too cute and I must have it!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Some Inspiration.

I was reading a blog and this pic was on there and it gave me a little inspiration. 

Once I get my camera and Emery is born I want some little frames like that in the color theme of his room and I want to take the pictures that go in them. I want the boys to draw him a picture that can go in one and add a super personal touch.

I was telling Jake the other day after our hypnobirthing class that I'd like to get the boys each a disposable camera so that the day we bring Emery home they can take their own pictures of him, the way they see things. They may not all turn out but it'll be fun for them to take part in it. We can get them developed and they can each have their own little photo album of them and their new little brother. Who knows, sometimes kids capture the greatest pictures and I could steal it to put in one of those frames.

I just had to share so that I can look back over my blog and remember. I hate having a great idea and then I go to sleep and forget!

Also the blog I got the picture from is Enjoying the Small Things I found her blog from somewhere and it was about the birth of her littlest girl and I cried and cried and cried. She's such a wonderful writer and photographer and I'm always finding inspiration there. Definitely worth jumping over there and taking a peak.

The link to the heart wrenching post is here. Go have a good cry and remember how precious a life is even if they aren't perfect in the eyes of the world.