Friday, October 29, 2010

Stunned.


I've had a few issues with work lately. In fact yesterday was the last straw for me. My manager made a rude comment that was completely unprofessional. With all the crap I've put up with silently I called the franchise owner to discuss it with her. We're supposed to sit down on Tuesday to discuss everything, the three of us. Today though I got to work and my manager asked to speak with me. She asked what happened yesterday and I told her exactly what happened and why I was so put off with her attitude and comment. She basically told me that I can't be mad at her because she won't give me Sunday's off and doesn't want there to be any awkwardness for us working together. 

She asked why I wasn't my happy chatty self at work. I explained that for 2 months I was sick with morning sickness and trying not to barf all day and then I've had to deal with people who can't do their job and I have to try to pick up the slack. I told her I was at the point where I just come in to do my job and leave at the end of the night. I don't feel like knowing all the dirty details of people's drama when we have our own drama at home. I told her that this whole battle over the boys has really had me in another world. She said she just didn't understand. I explained that Sunday is our ONE day with Nathan because during the week when we have visitation from 9am-1pm Nathan is in school. So when I work Sunday's I miss out on any activities we can do that day and I'm not able to be a positive female role model in his life. I said that she just didn't seem to understand that yet her schedule is made so that she can see her kids. I told her that she gets to go home to her kids every night and tuck them in and Sunday and Monday is the only day we get to do that. She basically told me that she doesn't feel for me and can't be sympathetic because they're not mine where as her kids are HERS. They are not biologically mine. So apparently if you're a parent who adopts a child, you don't love them and wouldn't give them the world because they're not YOURS. If you're a step parent you can't love them because they're not YOURS. All because they already have a mom and a dad. I explained yes they have a mom who birthed them, but she is NOT a mother in any way. I've stepped up and tried to be the mom they haven't had. I started crying at work because I was SO pissed off that she could say this. That just because I'm a girlfriend and I didn't give birth to those children that I don't love them the same or more than their biological mom. I don't think I've ever heard such an ignorant comment before. I was really just stunned. Then she pretended to give a shit about what those boys go through and give me a hug. I really just wanted to walk out. Instead I just collected myself and went about work. 

I have no respect for her anymore. Work is not going to get any better. It's most definitely time to start looking for another job. A job where I can make my hours so that I can have all the time I want with those boys. 

On a better note....I felt the baby move for the first time today. I went and got a pedicure with Beth and then we went to lunch. I was sitting still listening to her chat away and I felt this little tap tap tap in the center of my belly. They weren't all in the same spot but less than a half inch apart. I was stunned. I was like "whoa, I think that was the baby." I tried to see if it was going to happen again. I usually get a muscle twitch that twitches 3 or 4 times on my left side, then stops and then happens again. Didn't happen and didn't feel the same so I'm assuming it was the little one. I'm gonna start paying attention even more to see if it happens again anytime soon. It felt nothing like a "butterfly" it was definitely a little tapping inside. I'm so excited!

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