I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Nothing was happening the way I wanted it to and I was so nervous for the appointment. To make matters worse I was told my appointment was at 1pm. I had to drink 32oz of water beforehand so by 12:30 I was miserable. I was praying that I wouldn't have to sneeze at all today. I told Jake not to judge me if I peed my pants. He had no response so I'm sure someday when I do he won't let me live it down.
Anyway, we were out running errands and done by 12:20 so I thought maybe if we got there early they would get me in a little earlier since we both had to work afterwards. I checked in and she told me that I was 30 minutes early. They would get me in early if they could or I could end up waiting the 30 minutes. At that point it was whatever. By 1:20 I told the lady that I had been waiting 20 minutes. She wasn't very nice stating that I had checked in so early and my appointment wasn't until 1:15. And since I checked in early they took someone from the ER back and wouldn't be done for a bit. UHM HELLO!? Is it not better to check in early than to be late? Since when is being early and waiting till your appointment time PLUS another 20 minutes such a bad thing?! So at this point I was cranky, I was tired, I was stressed and anxious and I had to pee like I've never had to pee before so I said "well excuse me for being early, I was told my appointment was at 1 and I was here early. I was not told by my doctor or your receptionist upstairs that it was at 1:15 or I'd have changed it because we both have to work and I don't think holding 32 oz of water in my little bladder is how I'd choose to spend my day." At that point she called back and they said I could go relieve a little pressure and that they'd be with me shortly. I was more than happy to do that and wait another 5 minutes so off I went doing the potty dance the entire way.
5 minutes later I'm being called back. Kyla is how they said it both times that day which irritates the hell out of me. Is it really that hard to pronounce it like you read it? They get me on the bed, ask a few questions, the tech comes in...can't get a close up of the baby. I asked if she saw it and if it was OK. She said she saw it but couldn't see anything more. So I start getting in my panic thinking that everything I had dreaded was coming true. She decides to do the ultrasound the other way not involving my belly. I'll spare you the details and you can thank me later. She lets me go relieve myself, gown up and then go to the bathroom again. Held alllllll the water alllll that time to be told as soon as I got in there than I now needed an empty bladder. *Le Sigh*
Back to the bed and I have to use a step stool to get up on the extra pad and thankfully got a sheet to cover myself. I'd hate for Jake to pass out right before we see our jellybean. She shows us the baby which she calls our "adorable little gummy bear". It really does look like a gummy bear. A wiggly one. It was doing a little shimmy. I felt such relief seeing its little arms and legs moving. It already looked like such a little tiny baby that I got all choked up. Then I saw its little white heart just pumping away and that was it. It was real and I was about to break down and cry.
She looked around and took her measurements. She showed me my right ovary which had the cyst on it that pops after you ovulate. She said it sticks around when you're pregnant to provide the hormones that the baby needs to start developing. I found that interesting because my right side was the one giving me all the terrible pain which they said was scar tissue and the whole spiel about not being able to have babies. That side with all that problem is the one that made our little human.
I asked if we could hear a heartbeat there or if just shows us the baby so she went back and flipped it on. The swishing was so strong and I could see the measurements on the screen. That's when I teared up and had to bite my lip and close my eyes before I started sobbing. She measured it and said it was 174. From what I've heard the average is 160's and that girls are usually higher. Fingers crossed that its a little girl...from the shimmy I saw on screen I sure hope it is.
She printed me off 3 pictures though only 1 is decent. I could care less about the AMNION. I just want pics of my adorable little creation.
Its all just so surreal for me. I always imagined being a mom, its all I've ever wanted but had accepted that it would never happen. Then I see this little wiggle-worm
|little wiggle-worm <333|